Hearing and Saying "NO"

A person has the right to say NO to sex at ANY time regardless of sexual orientation! Even if you have been hooking up, drinking, hanging out for a while, or you are wearing a hot outfit. It does not matter if you said yes then changed your mind, had sex before with that person, or if your date spends a lot of money, NO means NO in any situation! Be assertive; if you say "NO" - mean it! Don't be afraid to say it and stick by it.

If your date/partner says "NO" he/she is not just playing hard to get! "NO" means "NO", and you must listen to it - even if you are not sure if he/she really means it."If it's against his/her will, it's against the law," it's RAPE." If you respect someone enough let that person take control of his/her life, it is more powerful than you trying to control it. You get respect by giving respect.

Sexual Abuse

Rape is when someone you know forces you to have sex. LGBTQ survivors can show the same range of emotional responses to assault as any heterosexual survivor. However, LGBTQ survivors of violence are often afraid to reach out for help due to homophobia, discrimination, outings, bigotry, and bias. These issues may impede their healing process; impact their treatment negatively or in some cases, make the situation worse. Special concerns for LGBTQ survivors include:

• Lack of support from friends or family
• Fear of "being outed"
• Denial - "the assault didn't happened"
• Guilt or shame
• Belief that same sex violence "goes both ways"
• Insensitivity from social service/health care providers or law enforcement

UASA is sensitive and responsive to the needs of the LGBTQ community. We want to make it safer for LGBTQ survivors to reach out by providing culturally competent services in a safe, non-judgmental, confidential environment. Sexual orientation should not be perceived as a barrier to, or further isolate the LGBTQ survivor.

Alcohol, Drugs and Sexual Assault

Alcohol is the most commonly used date rape drug. When you're under the influence you cannot give consent; for that reason, having sex with someone when they are high or too wasted to make a decision is RAPE, regardless of sexual orientation; it is illegal. Also, if you drink, you may loose your ability to make the right decisions and can lower your inhibitions. You may regret it later! The consequences of drunken sex can be serious. Drunken sex increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes, chlamydia and HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Other date rape drugs include Rohypnol (roofies), GHB (liquid ecstacy) and Ketamine (special K). Sometimes, devious individuals slip these types of drugs into other people's drinks in order to have sex with them. Do not leave your drink unattended or give someone the chance to put drugs in it. Not drinking alcohol or using drugs may help you stay safe, but if you're going to drink, use the buddy system.

Harassment

The LGBTQ community is probably one of the most frequent victims of hate crimes in the country. Harassment and discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation are offensive and unwanted behaviors that are found threatening or disturbing. These behaviors are offensive and leaves LGBTQ victim's feeling degraded and threatened. Don't put up with it! Talk to someone to help you "get it off your chest;" this would help you realize that you are not at fault - the harassment comes from the fears, misinformation, and ignorance of others. If you feel up to it and you believe it is safe to do so, confront the harasser and make it clear that the behavior is not desired, and ask them to stop. Research your rights, and file a complaint with the appropriate authority (teacher, school principal, or guidance counselor, etc.). Most importantly, document the events, in a journal for example. This would help you keep a record of the events in case the harassment continues and you have to take stronger measures.

Statutory Rape

Dating is a healthy part of being a teen but IT can be trouble when there is a big difference in ages. In California, any type of sexual activity between a minor, someone under the age of 18 years old, and someone over the age of 18 years old is statutory rape. In California 18 is the legal age of consent.

Relationship Abuse

A majority of relationships are not abusive, but teen relationship abuse does happen and affects all types of teens, regardless of ethnicity, class, religion, what grades they get, or how they look or dress. Teen relationship abuse happens in straight, gay, and lesbian relationships. What's more, LGBTQ teen relationship abuse is very similar to that in straight relationships. You don't have to take it!
No one should be forced to deal with relationship violence alone.

Online Safety

Cyber Sexual Predators are criminals who pose as children or teens on the Internet to hunt, interact, entice, invite, persuade or molest their victims. They lurk in the shadows from the privacy of their own home. They are expert manipulators and create friendships or relationships with the victims to gradually acquire their confidence to try to convince them to meet in person. Teens who are loners and isolated, or are either confused or struggling about their sexual identity are particularly vulnerable to these "sickos". Don't let online strangers trick you into thinking they are your real-life friends. Most importantly, NEVER meet with someone you met online. Protect yourself by keeping your information private online! These "pervs" can skim your profile to find information and find things they can use to harm you or others you care about - Names, addresses, telephone numbers, school/work place, class schedule, etc. - Ask your friends to keep their information private too!

Suicide

According to a study published in the American Journal of Public Health, LGBTQ "youth are more than twice as likely as non [LGBTQ] youth to attempt suicide." Being young and LGBTQ can be a lonely and isolating experience. People pressing you to change, to be "normal;" dealing with harassment, homophobia, discrimination, bigotry, and bias. Perhaps, you're still in the closet and you want to come out, but you don't know how. Or, you don't want people to know that you are in "there." No wonder sometimes life feels hopeless! It is not fair that LGTBQ teens have to deal with so much heavy stuff.
But, today more than ever it is possible to make it through. Get help if you need it. Talking always helps.

If a friend is thinking about suicide, GET HELP FAST!